I have to admit that "anger" bubbles up, and as I reflect back as to WHY this is so hard for me, "I was taught that there is a price for being angry, showing emotions that did not fit our dirty little secrets." I also know that through therapy, I had a HUGE need to forgive so that I would heal and not feel the shame and fear. I did a weekend of processing and watching others process. It just looked ugly and scary to me. Interesting to me was that I found my anger at my mother, not the many violations that happened to me over the years. I was told that it was because she was in my heart and her violations went deep. I was able to leave body during the gang rape. She didn't protect me. She didn't tell me. She didn't show love, compassion, she needed me. So, I WANT to find the bubble up and express... I will...I will.
-Phoenix #5
-Phoenix #5
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