**WARNING: THIS PAGE CONTAINS GRAPHIC, LEWD & INAPPROPRIATE VERBIAGE.**
If you are easily offended by the f-bomb and other such colorful terms, please do not proceed to scroll down this page. This is a forum for victims of sexual assault to speak their mind. It will not be pretty; it will not be nice; nor will the emotions herein be up for debate or discussion. Proceed at your own discretion, and don't say we didn't warn you!
I have to admit that "anger" bubbles up, and as I reflect back as to WHY this is so hard for me, "I was taught that there is a price for being angry, showing emotions that did not fit our dirty little secrets." I also know that through therapy, I had a HUGE need to forgive so that I would heal and not feel the shame and fear. I did a weekend of processing and watching others process. It just looked ugly and scary to me. Interesting to me was that I found my anger at my mother, not the many violations that happened to me over the years. I was told that it was because she was in my heart and her violations went deep. I was able to leave body during the gang rape. She didn't protect me. She didn't tell me. She didn't show love, compassion, she needed me. So, I WANT to find the bubble up and express... I will...I will.